I had two very good friends, artists I met on-line. They were coming from out of town and I really wanted to show them a good time while they were in California. It was their first visit. Now what could two artist possibly wanna do on their first trip to America 🙂
The plan was for me to leave my El Granada home super early, zoom up to Sacramento and pick up our lovely model Candy DeVille, From there from there, Candy and I were going to go to Sacramento international Airport and pick up Dino and Argus just in from Stockholm Sweden, and finally head off to Lake Berryessa for a little artist fun and extravaganza. You’ll never guess my surprise and amazement when I arrived at Candy’s house to discover that she had just bought a new pink Cadillac convertible. Naturally she insisted on driving all day.
Within a couple of minutes our two friends came walking out and piled into the back seat and we were tail lights on I-80. The ride went relatively smooth as we ripped down I 80 doing doing about 90 MPH with the top down and while slamming back tequila shooters. Candy was an exceptionally good driver. I had never met and 18-year-old as talented as Candy. She could stare the car on those windy roads to the lake with her knee, while juggling the four shot glasses and without ever spill a drop of our precious tequila.
The ride had been long and hot, but we could finally catch glimpses of the lake as we crossed the first mountain range. We still had a very long way to go and it was becoming abundantly clear, one quarter tequila was not going to be enough for this crowd. I knew a place we could stop to replenish our supplies. It’s a little general store of sorts that a friend of mine owned. I’ve been there many times because he had an FFL, and I chose to buy all my guns there. It was called Last Chance Liquor and Ammo and it was only about an hour away from the lake. I had intended for this to be a quick stop. A quick bathroom break, grab a few more bottles of tequila, and some ice before heading back out on the road. My friend Gary who owns the place wasn’t around that morning. Something about him taking a load of shine, or picking up some shine from the local high school. I’m really not to sure what she was talking about, she wasn’t making any sense. But nevertheless my friends coming from Europe had never actually been in a gun store before, one thing led to another and before you know it we had spent a couple of hours, kicking back long neck Bud lights and manhandling the weaponry on display.
My friend Gary is a great guy, a real hustler, funny as hell, but I’m still a little unclear how an illegal from down under – Australia, could obtain an on sale/off sales liquor license and a Federal Firearms License within a couple of days and without any paperwork. He must know somebody very high up in ATF because that’s unheard of for just the Liquor License alone and I’ve no idea what it’s like to get a Federal Firearms License. I also have no idea where Gary finds these beauty queen, goddesses to work in this bar, but Tia-Maria, who waited on us today was truly one of the most beautiful girls I’d ever seen. I guess it makes good business sense, because the majority of this clientele are males and it’s easier for a stunning goddess to sell expensive weapons to a primarily all male audience. I’m sure the free shots of the hard stuff, for anyone standing at the gun counter doesn’t hurt either. After a couple of hours it was easy to see our gorgeous model Candy, was feeling threatened and a bit jealous she was becoming agitated by our stunning topless waitress Tia-Marie. Candy’s wardrobe “malfunctions” were becoming more and more frequent. Tia-Marie was insistent that only employees of Last Chance Liquor and Ammo, were the only ones allowed to go topless on the premises, some kinda stupid State law. So acting quickly, before the cat fight reached its boiling point, I decided to round up the crew and get back on the road to the lake.
Well my day had started at about 4:am when I left the cafe classic with my coffee, its was about noon when we finally arrived at the lake. I was feeling more than just a bit buzzed and wished that I had grabbed a bite to eat before we left the Gary’s bar. But after a very long drive it was finally time to pull out the Nikon and get busy with our gorgeous model! Candy wasted no time slipping into her first bikini and jumping in the lake to cool off. It was becoming crystal clear to both Candy and I, that Dino and Argus were far more interested in taking pictures of her changing, than they were of getting pictures of her in front of the beautiful California scenery.
We all took turns shooting with Candy DeVille for about 4 hours and I was delighted with my own work. Then Candy, now a little bored broke out the last bottle of tequila and challenged us all to a friendly game of strip poker. Man, I’ll tell you, at this point I was totally inebriated! I could barely see the cards, much less bet on them. I really needed a power nap. I guess I hadn’t been a sleep that long, because I remember awakening, both Dino and Argus were fully clothed, Candy was practically naked. I can still almost hear Candy saying; “But I thought you said the last time a Royal whatchamacallit beats any hand? Now you’re trying to tell me that if you both get 4-of-a-kind, I lose?” Gzzz can you believe my two buddies would attempt to cheat and take advantage of my sweet, gorgeous model friend…..
Overall the day was very successful, in my humble opinion anyway. I was delighted with my own work and so appreciative of Candy and her performance. As the sun was beginning to set, we gathered up all of our stuff and headed back up the hill to the parking lot. We had intended to drop into the Last Chance Liquor and Ammo, – bar, on our way out, but the place was packed, It was Ladies Night and nobody felt like walking more than a mile back to the bar, the closest we could park. We arrived at Sacramento International Airport about 2 hours before my friends were scheduled to fly back to Stockholm. Candy went out dancing with several of her friends, I slept in the backseat of my car for two hours, before the three hour drive back home to El Granada…..